i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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