He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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