brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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