Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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