direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
