cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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