I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
