Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't deserve a penis
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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