Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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