My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
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I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
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$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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