Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
