You really coming over, don't trick.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
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