TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
