its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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