Non-Jews are for practice
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
