So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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