i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Sorry about my life...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
