I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
