picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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