I want to walk on stilts...naked
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
