i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
