this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
