Sponge bath it is.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
