i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
