i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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