her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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