one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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