The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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