I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
the day after is always just damage control
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
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