You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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