I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
