belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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