Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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