yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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