i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Randomize
