It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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