And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
