are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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