I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize