Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
