I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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