You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
