The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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