Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
