i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
