dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
