this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
