I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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