One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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