I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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