i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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