everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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