Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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