yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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