"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
