im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
