I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize
