shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
