is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
