i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
