It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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