Jerry, you need to find god
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
