We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
