hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
